Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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