i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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