There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
