Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
whose ass print is on the piano?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
