Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
