The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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