Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize