I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
