look no pants
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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