I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i dont even know how to be here
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
