That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
