The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
