hotel room ftw
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize