Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
