Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
