so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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