oh god the rape fog is back!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night