"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots