for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.