I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I understand Curling. That high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.