your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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