So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
