forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
