I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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