He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
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we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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