Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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