shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
