Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
