I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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