Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
