I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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