ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
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THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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