my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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