You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I lost the right to judge tonight
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
