can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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