respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
