then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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