Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize