why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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