He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize