Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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