Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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