I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
