oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
