She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
