I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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