You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
