I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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