He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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