I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
