Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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