it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize