the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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