You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I believe in your delicious
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
