Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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