I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize