Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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