you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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