After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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