operation harelip BJ is a go
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
